Nostalgia

It had always been a great fantasy to walk down the famous MG road in Bangalore for almost a decade, until after nine years I got a chance yesterday. Yes the road hadn’t changed much except for a few buildings and new hoardings and banners, the momentum was still there with all those crowded shops and buildings and the late evening crowds.. I could still figure out the same building with the elephant on the front elevation.. It was not a Déjà vu, but I wished I could go back in time and bring the same person into me so who wanted to walk down the road along with friends making noise and exclaiming and commenting every substance that would cross their way.

The first time I walked down this road, as a kid who had come to the city with his parents and relatives to see the modern lifestyle. It was wonderful to see a bank where they would give money any time of day, they told me “Any Time Money” and that was my definition of ATM until I learnt what an “Automatic Teller Machine” was and learnt how it worked.

The second time, it was even more fantastic as a final year high school student, who had come to attend the SSB interview for a week’s duration. Every evening, it was a “must go” place to find some relaxation after the hard day’s efforts. I used to dream how wonderful it would be to wander across the same road five years later as a grown up man who will have got all the money to do all he wanted to do.

This was my third time here.. I could not make it to Bangalore after five years from that earlier moment, but I could do that five years after college at least. I thought I had some money to fulfill my own dreams and to do what I wanted to do nine years ago. On the contrary, there was something major missing.

“Was that money?”
“No!”
“Was that the company of friends?”
“No.. I have my best friend who is also a college classmate, walking right next to me”

But where did the enthusiasm go? I was wondering if it was unique to me, until I noticed the similar feeling in my friend. In fact, he was looking gloomier than me.

“Stop!” I said.. “Man, are we really walking down one of the most happening places in the country?”
“I thought so, but now wondering if we really do..” He replied.
“Would we have enjoyed a little bit at least, had we been here around a couple of years back?”
“The places, the beauties, all the fun and what not?; but I wonder why nothing is really fascinating!”
“How did emptiness occupy us when we had everything we wanted? Did life lose quality as our lifestyles got better?”
“Perhaps, the more you think you have; the more problems and worries it brings along with it!”
“Didn’t we dream for all this until this moment?”
“We still do; but the way we look at it differs until you have it”

Things have changed a lot or rather our minds.. Where has life led me all these days? Did I keep gaining or losing all the time? Is that an unknown maze that I am walking in without knowing which direction to go? Can I, for once go back to that little young man who had nothing with him, but nothing to stop him from enjoying the moment?